非理性第一季

如果一个光子打向有两个狭缝的平面,如果有一个狭缝可以观测到,那它没有同时通过两个狭缝.
So if a photon is directed through a plane with two slits in it and either slit is observed,it will not go through both slits.
如果观测不到,那它会通过.
If it's unobserved,it will.
但如果它是在离开平面后,在击中目标物之前被观测到,那它不会同时通过两个狭缝.
However,if it's observed after it's left the plane but before it hits its target,it won't have gone through both slits.
没错 你想说什么
Agreed.What's your point?
没什么 我只是觉得这个主意放在T恤上不错
That's no point, i just think it's a good idea for a t-shit.


但那些可怜的女人们会把希望寄托在我的精子上的.
But there's some poor woman who's gonna pin her hopes on my sperm.
如果她最好发现那小不点连曲线下面积该用积分还是微分算都不知道 她会怎么想?
What if she winds up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve the area under a curve?


如果有一格阶梯的高度存在哪怕两毫米的微小差距,大多数人被会被绊倒.
If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimeters,most people will trip.
我十二岁时做过一系列试验,我爸爸还摔断了锁骨.
I did a series of experiments when i was 12,My father broke his clavicle.
你就是因为这个被他们送去寄宿学校的?
Is that why they sent you to a boarding school?
不是, 是因为我那些关于激光的试验.
No. That was a result of my work with lasers.



我们要不要请他来吃午饭?
Should we have invited her for lunch?
不 我们要开始看太空堡垒卡拉狄加第二季.
NO.We're gonna start season two of battlestar galactica.
第二季的DVD我们已经看过了.
We already watched the season two dvds.
但评论音轨还没看.
Not with commentary.

这方面我不在行 不过我相信如果是邀请别人吃午餐,你最好不要说些肠运动的事.
I'm no expert,but i believe in the context of a luncheon invitation,you might want to skip the reference to bowel movements.

不错,只是一些量子力学而已边上还随便写了一点点弦理论.
Yeah,well,it's just some quantum mechanics with a little string theory doodling around the edges.
那部分 是我开的玩笑 讽刺下波恩-奥本海默近似
That part there,that's just a joke.It's a spoof of the born-oppenheimer approximation.

如果你说"上帝啊"是想再一次强调说你能在任何一个麻省理工的男生寝室墙上发现那些涂鸦,那一点没错.
If by "holy smokes",you mean a derivative restatement of the kind of stuff.You can find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at mit,sure.

没错 我们可以了解到你有群众性文化妄想就是指你出生时相对于任意确定星座的太阳的视位置可能会决定你的性格.
Yes.it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.


明白了 距离上次有女人在我们这里轻解罗裳 并且看了之后我们不想把眼睛给挖出来的 已经很久了
Point taken.It has been some time since we've had a woman take her clothes off after which we didn't want to rip out eyes out.

我很抱歉,如果我当初遇到点小麻烦就放弃的话我永远也不会在宇宙大爆炸之后成功验证弦理论了.
Excuse me , if i were to give up on the first little hitch,i never would have identified the fingerprints of string theory in the aftermath of the big bang.

看完《生活大爆炸》，立即宣布sheldon是我滴小新欢，手机来电也换成了片头曲HOHO！原来有这么符合我口味的美剧真好！看这部剧几乎是从头笑到尾，不得不佩服编剧大神的强大功力。喜欢Sheldon这样滴高智商人士，简单粗暴非常之好。
这四个人有着完全属于自己的生存环境，随口说出的高深词汇都有着独一无二的特殊意义。他们会花费脑筋搞出一大堆别人看起来莫名其妙的东西，原因就是"Because we can"。他们以互相打击讽刺为乐，率真可爱。 关键时刻虽然可以挺身而出，不过肚子里都打着自己的小算盘。早就已经厌倦了泛道德化，把一切微小的细节都可以拉到一定的道德高度。看我家的Sheldon多好，完全生存在自己的逻辑里。就是IQ高点EQ应该是负数吧。重要的是那三个还能理解着陪在身边。某集中，PENNY也疑惑为什么Sheldon还有朋友，另三个人的答案也没有走温情路线。朋友就是看透你还能在身边的阿。Sheldon会为了保守秘密搬出去住，因为他不会说谎。这样算不算有点小温馨呢。他也会为了证明自己是最聪明滴而离开朋友自己组团，这样是不是欠扁呢？！遵守着共同的游戏规则，因为彼此有相似的地方才会走到一起。看着他们不约而同穿着闪电侠的衣服出现真是笑喷。很多东西（as 那个多普勒效应的衣服还有时光机器）只有内部流通，这样沟通起来多方便阿人生最大的麻烦就是解释。我也想要拿着星战光剑当电灯玩，再用完美的物理和逻辑知识指出电影里的BUG哈哈快哉！其实那个Howard，我也是比较欣赏的。主要是被他那句“洗个痛快澡”彻底雷翻。然后就不时看到他现各种莫明的外语。印度男还是挺可爱的，他妈妈好年轻阿＝＝美国都可以无线上网的吗？！可以搬着苹果的本本到处晃真好阿！Leonard就没什么好说的了，剧情需要！和那个女科学家的戏比较有看头。
看FRIENDS时最爱的是chanlder，尤其萌他和Joey在一起。现在这四个人真是过之而无不及阿。人生本来就是个冷笑话，那么就让我们冷并雷着，幸福的生活吧。

好吧，只是作为一个小姑娘的思路看这4个男人。。
亲爱的raj，你是我一眼望下去最帅的男人。好吧，我承认我有点小外貌派，毕竟leonard的身高，Wolowitz的小样都不怎么的。。入目。而shelton虽然有了身高，还算顺眼的外貌，但就是败在了我对亚洲脸庞的偏好下。。
我一直以为，你是一个稍稍内向老实的人，妈妈说，老实的人是靠得住的。
你总是不敢和女人说话，这样很好，至少我们在一起后，你只会和我说话，即使你看着别的女人，但是你却不会开口，很好，没有出墙的可能。
你总是被另外几个忽视，这也很好，你就有更多的时间陪着我。。
即使你妈妈喜欢印度女生，即使你爸爸喜欢hot的女生，我还是决定坚定的和你站在一起。。。
在我对你的印象越来越好的时候。。你喝了那杯酒。。然后。。你的形象就这样华丽丽哗啦啦的倒塌了。。。-。-原来你就是传说中的。。。“闷骚”。。喝了酒之后的你，和Wolowitz是不分上下的。。
我开始担心如果你被人灌醉了，是不是会和Wolowitz一样的。。淫乱。。是不是也开始数落我的身高体重。。我也开始担心如果你有了成就，是不是会嫌弃我的文凭我的事业。。
好吧，我们就这样到此为止吧。。

亲爱的Wolowitz，我们还是保持最最纯洁的朋友关系吧，虽然你会多种语言，虽然我们交谈应该不会像其他人那样的。。。困难。。虽然我不用在床上找很多很多的蛮牛。。也不用去图书馆领回你。。虽然我的那些哥们说你是天才的率真，敢于表现自己的饥渴和猥琐。。。但是。。我还是受不了你那自以为幽默的搭讪方式。以及。。我最不想面对的婆媳关系。。即使我能忍受你，但我也绝不能忍受你的妈妈。。
好吧，我们就做最普通的朋友吧。。

亲爱的leonard，你是他们中间最像人的人了。你有正常的EQ，会在我伤心的时候安慰我，有过人的。。。体力。即使你矮了点，度数高了点，不能吃我最爱的乳糖，但总体而言。。你是我可以接受的存在。只是，看到你多次和Leslie的ML，让我幼小的心灵遭受到了打击。。
好吧，你还是跟着你的penny走吧。。

亲爱的shelton。你是最特别的存在。。你的智商让我自叹不如，你的自负让我甘拜下风，你的完美主义让我感到窒息，你IQ和EQ之间的差值让我感到不可思议。。我常常在想，怎么样的女生才可以配的上你的。。首先，要有leonard的好脾气，她得能忍受你不是故意的嘲讽，忍受你的完美主义，忍受你的固执，忍受你的“坦率”；其次，她必须和你有着相同的爱好，喜欢看脑，喜欢给别人肚子挠痒痒，喜欢red vines糖，喜欢陈皮鸡丁；最后，我深深的总结了一下。。
shelton，我还是给你订做一个女生吧。。

既然现在没蜜蜂出没 你可以用我的肾上腺素
Since it's not bee season, you can have my epinephrine.

泰国在19世纪后半期才有叉子
Thailand has had the fork since the latter half of the 19th century.
有趣的是他们不直接把叉子放在嘴里而是用叉子来吧食物放在勺子里然后用勺子放到嘴里.
Interesingly they don't put the fork in their mouth.They use it to put the food on a spoon which then goes into their mouth.

路易斯莱恩从高空往下掉以每秒32英尺的初速度做自由落体加速
Lois lane is falling,accelerating at an initial rate of 32 feet per second per second.
超人俯冲下来用两个钢筋一样的手臂想要接住她
Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel
此时莱恩小姐在以每小时120公里的速度往下掉
Miss lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles an hour
碰到钢筋手臂 立马被劈成三瓣
Hits them and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces.

(Leonard)但是如果超人也达到那个速度然后减速
Unless superman matches her speed and decelerates
(Sheldon)还有时间吗 先生 她离地面两尺高
In what space ,sir? she's two feet above the ground.
如果他真的爱她的话 他应该让她掉在马路上 那还比较仁慈
Frankly,if he really loved her,he'd let her hit the pavement.It'd be a more merciful death.

问一下 跟我解释下托盘餐具放在沙发上 这算哪门子组织系统.
Excuse me.Explain to me an organization system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid.
我刚才有提到过这是沙发因为证据表明咖啡桌上正在举办小型二手货贩卖
I'm just inferring this a couch because the evidence suggests the coffee table is having a tiny garage sale.

(Leonard)你不能在半夜闯进一个女人的公寓 打扫
You can't just break into a woman's apartment in the middle of the night and clean
(Sheldon)我别无选择 我睡不着 想到在我卧室外面是我们的客厅,在我们客厅外面是走廊和走廊这边就是...这个样子.
I had no choice . I couldn't sleeo knowing that just outside my bedroom was our living room, and just outside our living room was that hallway.And immediately adjacent to the hallway was...this.

(Leonard)有些错误 像居里夫人发现了镭后来被证明有很大的科学研究价值 尽管她后来死于漫长而痛苦的放射性危害.
Some mistakes,such as madam curie's discovery of radium,turned out to have great scientific potential,even though she would later die a slow painful death"from radiation poisoning".

(Howard)我就担心这个
Oh boy,i was afraid of this.
(Leonard)怎么了
What?
(Howard)这些说明书用的都是些图解用最没有想象力的方式组合的这些零件.这就是为什么瑞典没有太空项目.
These instructions are a pictographic representation of the least imaginative way to assemble these components.This,right here is why sweden has no space program.
(Leonard)这个设计非常不合理 假设她有个平板电视,那就意味着这后面的空间都浪费了
It is an inefficient design,for example,she has a flat screen tv which means all the space behind it is wasted.
(Sheldon)我们可以把音响放这
We could put her stereo back there.
(Leonard)那怎么遥控?
and control it how?
(Sheldon)装个红外线转接器 光电管装这 接收器装这 小菜一碟
Run an infrared repeater.Photo cell here,emitter here,easy-peasy.
(Howard)想法不错 怎么冷却
Good point How are you gonna cool it?
(Sheldon)用风扇怎么样 这里一个 这里一个
How about fans?here and here.
(Leonard)还是不太合理而且可能有噪音.
Also inefficient,and might be loud.
(Howard)液体冷却剂怎么样 在这弄个水泵.装四分之一英寸的聚氯乙烯
How about liquid coolant?maybe a little aquarium pump here,run some quarter-inch pvc...
(Penny)这个东西其实挺简单的
Guys,this is actually really simple.
(Howard)等会,亲爱的,男人在干活
Hold on,honey. men at work.
聚氯乙烯循环到这,用电波纹薄钢板在这做散热器
The pvc comes down here.Maybe a little corrugated sheet metal as a radiator here.
(Leonard)是嘛?那怎么装水盘,水闸?还有蓄电池?
Yeah?show me where we put a drip tray,a sluice,and an overflow reservoir.
(Sheldon)如果用到水,那就要把这玩意接地吧.
If water's involved,we're gonna have to ground the crap out of the thing.
(Penny)这里好热哦,我还是把衣服脱光了吧..
It's hot in here, i think i'll just take off all my clothes.
.......................
(Leonard)我想出来了.如果我们把嵌板A B F和横木H都换成航空铝.
Oh, i've got it.What about if we replace panels a,b and f and crossbar h with aircraft-grade aluminum?
(Sheldon)对了,那整个就都是散热片
Right.then the entire thing is one heat sink.
(Howard)完美,你和谢尔顿去废物堆积场找个6平方的铝合板,我和拉杰搞定氧乙炔喷焊器.
Perfect.You and sheldon go to the junkyard and pick up 6 square meters of scrap aluminum?Raj and i will get the oxyacetylene torch.
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(未加名字标注的默认为sheldon所说)
大家踊跃推荐啊...

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,
宇宙一度又烫又稠密
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
140亿年前终于爆了炸 等着瞧...
The Earth began to cool,
地球开始降温
The autotrophs began to drool,
自养生物来起哄
Neanderthals developed tools,
穴居人发明工具
We built a wall (we built the pyramids),
我们建长城（我们建金字塔）
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,
数学 自然科学 历史 揭开神秘
That all started with the big bang!
一切由大爆炸开始


"Since the dawn of man" is really not that long,
其实人类历史没有多久
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.
星系形成时间比唱完这支歌还要短
A fraction of a second and the elements were made.
元素在微秒间便形成了
The bipeds stood up straight,
两足动物直立行走
The dinosaurs all met their fate,
恐龙都得认命了
They tried to leap but they were late
想要突变 没来得及
And they all died (they froze their asses off)
就死光光了（pp都冻成了化石）


The oceans and pangea
大洋和泛古陆
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya
拜拜 才不想学你
Set in motion by the same big bang!
都是爆炸惹的祸
It all started with the big BANG!
一切从大爆炸开始


It's expanding ever outward but one day
宇宙向外膨胀 但有一天
It will cause the stars to go the other way,
星球会反方向运动
Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it wont be hurt
向内坍塌 反正我们不在了 不会觉得疼
Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang!
我们美好光辉的形象将引发一场更大的爆炸


Australopithecus would really have been sick of us
南方古猿肯定不爽我们
Debating out while here they're catching deer (we're catching viruses)
在他们捉鹿时唧唧歪歪 （我们现在捉电脑病毒了）
Religion or astronomy, Encarta, Deuteronomy
宗教 天文 e百科 旧约申命记
It all started with the big bang!
一切从大爆炸开始


Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology
音乐 神化 爱因斯坦 占星术
It all started with the big bang!
一切从大爆炸开始
It all started with the big BANG!
一切从大爆炸开始